A robber shoved a note under a bank teller's window which said, "I've got you covered. Hand over all the money in the cage and don't say a word."

The teller opened the cash drawer and wrote something down. Then he closed the drawer and returned the note to the robber.

On the back he had written, "Kindly go to the next window; I'm on my lunch hour."

Markets are the places where two types of people meet up in the morning:

Those with experience and those with money. Towards the end of the day, they exchange their assets and go home.

Be careful of those calendars banks give you to help you keep track of your payments. I saw one with 16 months on it.

Three guys decide to play a round of golf:

A priest, a psychologist, and a stockbroker. They get behind a VERY slow two-some, who, despite a caddy, are taking all day to line up their shots and four-putting every green, and so on.

By the 8th hole, the three guys are complaining loudly about the slow play ahead and swearing a blue streak, and so on.

The priest says, "Holy Mary, I pray that they should take some lessons before they play again." The psychologist says, "I swear there are people that like to play golf slowly." The stockbroker says, "I really didn’t expect to spend this much time playing a round of golf."

By the 9th hole, they have had it with slow play, so the psychologist goes to the caddy and demands that they be allowed to play through. The caddy says O.K., but then explains that the two golfers are blind, that both are retired firemen who lost their eyesight saving people in a fire, and that explains their slow play, and would they please not swear and complain so loud.

The priest is mortified; he says, "Here I am a man of the cloth and I've been swearing at the slow play of two blind men." The psychologist is also mortified; he says, "Here I am a man trained to help others with their problems and I've been complaining about the slow play of two blind men."

The stockbroker ponders the situation -- finally he goes back to the caddy and says, "Listen, the next time could they play at night."

If bankers can count, how come they always have ten windows and two tellers?

The trading floor of an exchange is an environment wherein a higher concentration of people are subjected to more incomplete information bits flying around than anywhere else.