Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC) Posts: 863 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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:) Got this one from my dad... (yup - that's my disclaimer... ) Montana grizzly bear notice: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear [censored]. Black bear [censored] is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear [censored] is larger and has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC) Posts: 863 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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Ok - got two from him today... :) Must be an extra funny Friday...
A Cowboys Guide To Life
1. Never squat with yer spurs on.
2. There's 2 theories to arguin’ with a woman - neither one works.
3. Don't worry about biting off more than you can chew. your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger 'n you think.
4. If you get to thinkin’ you're a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
5. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
7. Never smack a man who's chewn’ tabacco.
8. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
9. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
10. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
11. Always drink upstream from the herd.
12. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
13. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back now and then to make sure it's still there.
14. When you're throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it in your pocket.
16. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
17. Finally, NEVER kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 3/19/2005(UTC) Posts: 2,995
Was thanked: 14 time(s) in 10 post(s)
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale cannot swallow a human; it is physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
Her teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 3/19/2005(UTC) Posts: 2,995
Was thanked: 14 time(s) in 10 post(s)
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/8/2004(UTC) Posts: 2,266
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:lol: Nice one
( the money is root of evil one of course, not miss M's :roll: :lol)
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC) Posts: 863 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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Whatever! You said you liked the one about keeping your mouth shut if you were full of bull.... I'm telling!
:) M
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/8/2004(UTC) Posts: 2,266
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True I forgot that one :D
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 3/7/2005(UTC) Posts: 1,346
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hey g... thats pretty good....
what yall bet ole ernie is from the south.... his math don't add up.... surprised marilyn didn't catch that.....
time and money would be 'time + money' not 'time x money' ...
which would crumble the rest....
considering ernie's dot com name, its easy to add up his wife must be kickin his redneck butt in his house every night....h
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 3/19/2005(UTC) Posts: 2,995
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OMG!!!! :shock:
I can't believe that I'm that blind! I swear that I NEVER visited earnie's site until after h's last words. CRAP!!! I never! :oops: :oops: :oops:
I got that little bit of humor in my email today and passed it along without really looking at the fine print. Sorry to everyone! Web address has now been removed.
[quote=+" or "x" depends on how expensive they are!
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC) Posts: 863 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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damn it! I looked at the url - didn't pay it much attention and am now desperately curious to see what I missed...
You snooze - you loose around here! :smt015 M
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Rank: Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 4/30/2005(UTC) Posts: 18
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It is not Time + Money it is time times money. For example $100.00 per hour.
I guess it's all depend on who u r with.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 3/19/2005(UTC) Posts: 2,995
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Excellent 1-waver! :smt036
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC) Posts: 863 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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Alright..... what's going on here! [-(
What about us low maintenance girls??? Can we just be bad - not evil??? :) M
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 3/19/2005(UTC) Posts: 2,995
Was thanked: 14 time(s) in 10 post(s)
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'low maintenance girls' are a genetic impossibility! :smt080
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 3/7/2005(UTC) Posts: 1,346
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[color=red:3c28b987c9]well[/color], it was friday and there was no emailed funny from pa.... guess this must be a rotational thing..... my turn....
yall know the south is predominatly :oops: democratic .... there are a few republicans :wink: .... combining all the above , here is my lash at a 'highly questionable emailed friday funny of political nature involving the moral issues of recent natural disaters'......h
this test only has one question, but it's a very important one.... by giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.... the test features an unlikely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous....
you are in new orleans, louisana to be specific.... there is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. this is a flood of biblical proportions, you are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of the epic disaster. the situation is nearly hopeless.... you're trying to shoot career making photos. there are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.... nature is unleashing all of it's destructive fury....
suddenly you see a woman floundering in the water..... she is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.... you move closer...somehow the person looks familiar. you suddenly realize who it is... it's senator Hillary Clinton!...
at the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under...forever..... you have two options- you can save the life of Hillary R. Clinton, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women....
the question is below.... please give an honest answer....
would you select high-contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?...
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 3/19/2005(UTC) Posts: 2,995
Was thanked: 14 time(s) in 10 post(s)
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 3/7/2005(UTC) Posts: 1,346
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what, no friday funny again.... someone needs to set up calander so we can know who's turn it is....
from marilyn's avatar change it appears the clownfish fish went south and special kitty is claiming the 5th..... so in memory here......
''''Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Little Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat." '''''' jokes.net
but then ya never know, if the switch might go further than just avatars...... afterall, he is/was a clownfish......h
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 9/26/2005(UTC) Posts: 185 Location: Brazil
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ref("Friday Funny",+2)
:eek: Hope the formula is RIGHT!
Bulli ;)
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC) Posts: 863 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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=D> OMG! That is soooooo funny! Are these yours Bulli???
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users Joined: 9/26/2005(UTC) Posts: 185 Location: Brazil
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Hi Marilyn,
It is funny, I could not agree more. But hey at least he only had a marker!
No, it is a photo I picked up on the net!
Bulli ;)
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