ok its not friday but I thought I should put up a post. Another shiping Co being short sold

bennys boat must be goin in circles, seems it was there last week also..... or perhaps its just an elton john concert goin on..... here's some cornball humor from florida's footquarters.... but first, speakin of cornballs, if that dang jetset marilyn don't get back on the friday funnys, i'm fixin to start pokin fun at her......h

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Title: Cornball humor 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent . 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, 'It's Not Unusual'." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!" 13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!". 16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain - they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered frombad breath. This made him.... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 19. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Thanks for the laughs

With a surname like mine.... you just gotta hate this time of year! The solution..... revenge! http://www.videosift.com/story.php?id=1147 [edit] or maybe....???? http://clips1.vimeo.com/...05/10/31/vimeo.22756.wmv wabbit :D

Oh my god that was funny......both but especially the first clip.Thanks

:lol: omg wabbit... that was too funny. :) M Back to work... gotta new website that is late late late.. already did an Easter Bunny on the first round of programmers but now it is in capable hands and making great strides. Wish me luck!

hey g..... what do you get when you upset the wicked witch of the west?..... a good easter bunnying..... ooooohhh.... now it all makes sense...... no wonder patrick hauled butt.......... h The Wizard of Guffaws riddles about The Wizard of Oz by Rick and Ann Walton Q: Why did Dorothy scream? A: Because the Tin Man stepped on her toto. Q: How do you kill a wild tornado? A: With a blow gun. Q: Was Dorothy a good actress? A: Yes, she brought the house down. Q: Where did Dorothy slip and fall down? A: On the Yellow Slick Road. Q: Who made the yellow slick road slippery? A: The Wizard of Ooze. Q: What did Dorothy sing after she slipped? A: "Somewhere over the sprained toe!" Q: Who made Dorothy fall asleep in the poppy field? A: The Wicked Witch of the Rest. Q: What did the Munchkins become when a house landed on them? A: Crunchkins. Q:Why did the Munchkins burn down Dorthy's house? A: Because they wanted to give her a housewarming. Q: What has wings but can't fly, sticks its head in the sand, and takes Munchkins for rides? A: Oztriches. Q: How did the Munchkins communicate? A: In Yellow Brick Code. Q: How did the tornado damage Dorothy's home? A: It blew it up. Q: What part of Kansas did Toto come from? A: To-topeka. Q: Where did Dorothy travel when she wanted to make friends? A: Down the Hello Brick Road. Q: Who was called after Dorothy smashed the Wicked Witch of the East? A: A witch doctor. Q: Did the tornado excite Dorothy? A: Yeah, she got carried away. Q: What did the Munchkins eat for dessert? A: The Jello Brick Road. Q: Who lives in the Emerald City part of the time and in space the rest of the time? A: Oztronauts. Q: What did Dorothy wear when she was tired? A: Ruby Sleepers. Q: Where did the Oztronauts land their rockets? A: On Ozteroids. Q: What kid in the Emerald City got the best grades in school? A: The Wizard of A's. Q: What relative did Dorothy meet at the Emerald City? A: Auntie Gem. Q: Who in Oz makes friends with lions but kills bulls? A: Matadorothy. Q: Who follows Matadorothy around? A: A To-toreador. Q: What is the To-toreador? A: He's a bulldog. Q: What cleaned all the garbage out of Kansas? A: A janitor-nado. Q: Who kept throwing garbage at Dorothy and her friends? A: The Wicked Witch of the Waste. Q: How do old people get around in Oz? A: They use Munch-canes. Q: What did the Munchkins sing after the Wicked Witch of the East stole their food and ate it? A: "Ding, Dong, the Witch is fed..." Q: What kind of trees grow in the Emerald City? A: Evergreens. Q: How did the Lollipop Guild travel in Munchkinland? A: Down the Yellow Lick Road. Q: Which of Dorothy's friends had spent a lot of time out in the sun? A: The Tan Woodsman of Oz. Q: Which of Dorothy's friends had to have his mouth washed out with soap? A: The Swearcrow of Oz. Q: What place in Oz has the most plants? A: The Emerald City. It's full of greenhouses. Q: What grows best in the greenhouses? A: Green vegetables. Q: What's the Tin Woodsman's head filled with? A: Gela-tin. Q: What hopped along beside Dorothy as she traveled through Oz? A: Totoads. Q: Why did Dorothy and her friends hate the tin woodsman in the morning? A: Because he liked to get up oily. Q: What did Dorothy cut herself with? A: The Scissors of Oz. Q: Who did Dorothy visit when she cut herself? A: The Wizard of Gauze. Q: What part of Dorothy's house spun round and round during the tornado? A: The house-top. Q: What did the Wicked Witch of the East eat ice cream in? A: Munch-cones. Q: What did Dorothy say when she walked into the circus tent? A: "Lions and Tigers and Chairs, oh my!" Q: What would you get if you smashed Toto? A: A totortilla. Q: What did Dorothy wear when she was thirsty? A: Ruby Sippers. Q: Who did Dorothy run into when winter came? A: The Blizzard of Oz Q: Who saved Dorothy from getting lost in the blizzard? A: Ozkimos. Q: What did Dorothy ride on during the blizzard? A: Toto-boggans. Q: Who made the Blizzard of Oz go away? A: The Wizard of Thaws. Q: What brought the Lullaby League to Munchkinland? A: A snore-nado. Q: Which of Dorothy's friends looked like a box? A: The Squarecrow of Oz. Q: Who was the Squarecrow's best friend? A: The Cowardly Line. Q: Who kept trying to make Dorothy trip and fall? A: The Wicked Ditch of the West. Q: What did the Tin Man say after he fell into a fire? A: "I'm molten! molten!" Q: What did the Tin Man say when he chopped down a tree? A: "Tin---Ber!" Q: What's the best kind of house to hit a witch with? A: A clubhouse. Q: Who was the kindest of Dorothy's friends? A: The Carecrow of Oz. Q: Who gave the Wizard of Oz warts? A: The Yellow Brick Toad. Q: What did Dorothy have on her arm? A: A Toto tattoo. Q: Who were the first residents of Oz? A: The Oztecs. Q: Who did Dorothy meet in the desert? A: The Lizard of Oz. Q: What's the yellow brick road paved with? A: Ozphalt. Q: What did the Scarecrow say when the Wicked Witch knocked the stuffing out of him? A: "That's the last straw!" Q: What did the eyewitnesses say when they saw Dorothy get in an automobile accident? A: "Come out, come out, wherever you are, and meet the young lady who fell from a car." Q: What did the Munchkins say as Dorothy left Munchkinland? A: "Drop in again sometime!" Q: Who kept making Dorothy scratch herself? A: The Wicked Itch of the West. Q: What insect did Dorothy see in the tornado? A: A housefly. Q: What did the Munchkins sing after the good witch turned the Wicked Witch of the West into a dinner roll? A: "Ding, Dong, the Witch is bread..." Q: What did Dorothy's dog sit on when he got tired? A: Totoadstools. Q: What did the Munchkins tell Dorothy to do if she got hungry? A: "Swallow the Yellow Brick Road." Q: Who cut down all the trees in Munchkinland? A: The Wizard of Saws. Q: Who always told Dorothy the wrong time? A: The Wicked Watch of the West. Q: What's the best way to blow up Toto? A: With a Totorpedo. Q: Who did Toto want to chase while he was in Oz? A: The Emerald Kitty. Q: What happened when a tornado sucked up Toto and the Cowardly Lion? A: It rained cats and dogs. Q: How did Dorothy's dog travel through Oz? A: Incogni-toto. Q: Who did the Scarecrow visit when the wicked witch knocked the stuffing out of him? A: The Wizard of Straws. Q: Who followed Dorothy around, waiting for her to die? A: The Buzzard of Oz. Q: What did Dorothy's dog wear when he went dancing? A: A Toto tutu. Q: What did Dorothy say when she wanted to go to Italy? A: "There's no place like Rome! There's no place like Rome!" Q: What would Dorothy's dog wear if they went to Rome? A: A Totoga. Q: What did Dorothy wear when she fed the pigs? A: Ruby Sloppers. Q: What did Dorothy take when she had a headache? A: Ozpirin. Q: What did Dorothy say when she wanted to go to Alaska? A: "There's no place like Nome! There's no place like Nome!" Q: What path in Oz plays beautiful music as you travel on it? A: The Cello Brick Road. Q: Who did the Cowardly Lion visit when he got a thorn in his foot? A: The Wizard of Paws. Q: What did Toto become when the Indians found him? A: A Tototem pole. Q: Where did Dorothy go when she was in a hurry? A: Down the Yellow Quick Road. Q: What did Dorothy say when she walked into a dark fruit orchard? A: "Lions and Tigers and Pears, oh my!" Q: What did the wicked witch of the west put on their sandwiches? A: Toto-matoes. Q: What did the Munchkins sing when the Wicked Witch of the East fell into her food processor? A: "Ding, Dong, the Witch is shred..." Q: Why would the Wicked Witch of the East have made a good pet? A: Because she was housebroken. Q: What did the Wicked Witch of the West eat for breakfast? A: Totoast. Q: What did the wicked witch make Dorothy eat while she was in Oz? A: Ozparagus. Q: What did the Wicked Witch of the East keep her food in? A: Munch-cans. Q: What did the Wicked Witch of the East eat at noon? A: Lunchkins. Q: And what did she drink? A: Punchkins. Q: Who kept telling the Wizard everything Dorothy did wrong? A: The Wicked Snitch of the West. Q: What should you hold over your head if you want Dorothy to kiss you? A: Mistle-Toto. Q: Who visits the Munchkins on Christmas? A: The Wizard of Claus. Q: Where was the Tin Woodsman born? A: In Tin-buktu. Q: Why was the Tin Woodsman hard to get along with? A: Because he was heartless and he had an ax to grind.

reckon someone will have to sit in for marilyn again.... that ohnosecond will never become extinct around my house.... in the heat of the moment, sell looks so much like sell short..... oh*%^)L%@""M*&$@V K(&#*&_+1@nosecond.......h

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BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles. IDEA HAMSTERS - People who always seem to have their idea generators running. MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. SITCOM - (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. SQUIRT THE BIRD - To transmit a signal to a satellite. STARTER MARRIAGE - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. SWIPED OUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. TOURISTS - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists." TREEWARE - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material. XEROX SUBSIDY - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. GOING POSTAL - Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages. ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. CHIPS & SALSA - Chips? Hardware, salsa? Software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa. FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon. GOOD JOB - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again. IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The OJ trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. bunnied- maximum penalty for posting before reading. UNINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance. *(Syn: decruitment.) VULCAN NERVE PINCH - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key. YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps." SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. CLM - (Career Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM. ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week." 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located." Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404, man." GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in." OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

See.... IF I had my way around here, it would be the MINIMUM pennalty!! :LOL: wabbit :D

:evil: :lol: nice!