Yeeesh - can't go there! could never compete! :) and I don't like beer - too many strikes against me. Plus - those bottle caps get stuck in my belly ring - they really hurt! :) M

Winter holiday in Oz??? :) Yeah! I am in!

Down Under, from Men at Work. Traveling in a fried-out combie On a hippie trail, head full of zombie I met a strange lady, she made me nervous She took me in and gave me breakfast And she said, "Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover." Buying bread from a man in Brussels He was six foot four and full of muscles I said, "Do you speak-a my language?" He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich And he said, "I come from a land down under Where beer does flow and men chunder Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover." Lying in a den in Bombay With a slack jaw, and not much to say I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me Because I come from the land of plenty?" And he said, "Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah) Where women glow and men plunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover." Home, sweet home... wabbit :D

Well - I do like a glass of wine now and then :) And every once in a while that part of my brain that thinks I am still 20 will convince me to stay up all night and cut loose a bit (hide the tequila!) but those days are few and far between these days... not for any particular reason except that morning comes awfully early sometimes. :) As for the belly ring... yup - the one I have in now is green and sparkly but I do have plenty of pink and sparkly ones too :) Not that anyone sees them mind you... Did I tell you I was shy?? :D

good grief g...... the market must be givin that fella a heck of a beatin ...... kinda makes me feel better, least i still have my socks.... well marilyn must be in route so here's a friday funny from a clearstation post of days gone by.....

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so an analyst and economist walk into a bar.. 'unemployment's rising , now thats bad', says the analyst... 'no thats good', says the economist, ' thats a sign the fed will leave rates low..... 'low rates , now thats good', says the analyst.... 'no thats bad', says the economist, 'low rates are a sign the economy must be weak'... 'weak economy , now thats bad', says the analyst..... "no thats good', says the economist, 'a weak economy is a sign the fed will continue to fuel market advances.... 'market advances , now thats good', says the analyst.... 'no thats bad', says the economist, ' market advances are a sign of economic improvement which incourage the fed to raise rates..... 'raising rates , now thats bad', says the analyst..... 'no thats good' says the economist, ' 'raising rates is good, its a sign gdp will be rising while unemployment is falling'..... 'seems this is where we started', says the analyst, ' maybe people should buy metastock and just trade the macd cross, trading macd crosses is good'..... 'no thats bad', says the economist, 'thats a sign,.... hmmmm, ya know, hmmm, maybe, hmmm....' .....silence.... then at the end of the bar a drunk bankrupt nyse specialist raises his head up and slurs out ' no thats bads , cause its a sign youse twos chits-for-brains would be outa a job'..... will somebody buy that man a drink.......h

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

Finally... tell Dad thanks for some real humor! Those library jokes were killing me! BTW, I don't care if dishwasher soap is artifically flavored or not. LOL!

You're a nut! LOL! Now that's the Friday funny! :crylol:

The local restaurant was so sure that its host was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The host would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it. Then one day, this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the host said "OK," grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the host paid the $1,000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day he went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No". The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.