Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC)
Posts: 863
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
|
Three old mischievous grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
About then an old grandpa walked by, and one of the old grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."
The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools."
One of the ornery grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your under shorts and we can tell your exact age."
Embarrassed just a little, he dropped his drawers.
The grandmas stared at him for a while, asked him to turn around a couple of times, asked him to jump up and down for a little while and then they
all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!"
"How in the world did you guess?!?"
The ornery old grandmas, snickered and laughed.
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three happily yelled in unison,
"Because you told us yesterday."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC)
Posts: 863
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
|
Please don't delay. Classes are filling quickly. They may be repeated next Christmas season.
FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, Jan. 30, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday
7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon , 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 9/8/2004(UTC)
Posts: 2,266
Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)
|
testing long reply with tons of words and stuff :) ...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 3/7/2005(UTC)
Posts: 1,346
|
me to patrick.... she thinks she's safe over at interbank..... i'll teach her to make fun of us..... calling the nine ball in the corner pocket with one bank off the equis rail..... should be an easy shot......h
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC)
Posts: 863
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
|
:lol: You'd be surprised where those jokes originated... M
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC)
Posts: 863
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
|
Plus... you know I love you guys! :) M
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 3/7/2005(UTC)
Posts: 1,346
|
can't :angel: think :angel: of :angel: any :angel: reason :angel: you :angel: wouldn't :angel: love :angel: little :angel: angels :angel: like :angel: us....:angel:h:angel:
btw, i might be fixin to get in trouble with guys for lettin out the secret, but we solved the class 3 toilet seat issue years ago.... we now just use the sink, it's a much easier target ..... oooppps, maybe now there's a reason......h
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 9/10/2004(UTC)
Posts: 863
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
|
:lol: You know.. and I thought it was the shower.... :) M
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered, Registered Users, Subscribers
Joined: 3/7/2005(UTC)
Posts: 1,346
|
dang marilyn.... what at first seemed to be a sure bet slamdunk you tipped out the net in true karl malone style..... nice save and comeback.... somebodys been watching to much basketball..... karl malone is from here btw......h
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Users browsing this topic |
|
Guest (Hidden)
|
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.
