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Dad must be tapped out at the moment... who's going to step up and give us a Friday Funny??
:) M
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I can give you guys a Friday Crabby :censored: :ranting:
Anyone wants to hear me rant :lol:
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:eek: :? Anyone else???? :lol: M
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hey marilyn..... "whats up"..... here's a joke for non blondes.....
so 2 blondes walk into a bar.... they order a couple drinks, gulp'em down and high five each other and holler "14 days".... then order another drink..... gulp it down, high five each other and holler "14 days".... this goes on for several more times till finally the bartender asks what the heck was going on....
the blondes said they had just finished putting together a puzzle and it only took 14 days.... the bartender says "whats so great about that'.... to which they reply " duh, the box said 3 to 5 years'.....
Stockbroker: What is a million years like to you?
God: Like one second.
Stockbroker: What is a million dollars like to you?
God: Like one penny.
Stockbroker: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second ...
reckon we ought to explain the 'for non blondes whats up' to patrick or wait till he's in a better mood..... and i say hey, whats going on......h
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What do you call a Brunette and 3 blondes?
Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks...
Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
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Rank: Advanced Member
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how do you make a blonde laugh on monday?
tell her a joke on friday.
what d'ya git when you cross a blonde with the suez canal?
one busy ditch.
a blonde driving down the road noticed another blonde sitting in a boat in the middle of a wheat field.... the first rolls down her window and yells, "it's people like you that give us a bad name.... i ought to swim out there and kick your butt"....
what do blondes have in common..... nothing they can think of.....
speakin of think of, come to think of it i ought to keep my mouth shut.... i married one, that makes me dumber still......h
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Dad came through again! :)
A journalist was assigned to the Jerusalem bureau of his newspaper. He gets an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. After several weeks he realizes that whenever he looks at the wall he sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.
The journalist wondered whether there was a publishable story here. He goes down to the wall, introduces himself and says: "You come every day to the wall. What are you praying for?"
The old man replies: "What am I praying for? In the morning I pray for world peace, then I pray for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a glass of tea, and I come back to the wall to pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."
The journalist is taken by the old man's sincerity and persistence. "You mean you have been coming to the wall to pray every day for these things?"
The old man nods.
"How long have you been coming to the wall to pray for these things?"
The old man becomes reflective and then replies: "How long? Maybe twenty, twenty-five years."
The amazed journalist finally asks: "How does it feel to come and pray every day for over 20 years for these things?"
"How does it feel?" the old man replies. "It feels like I'm talking to a wall."
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Rank: Advanced Member
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and again! :)
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "the seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1970."
"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
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